This has been much against the grain of culture even amongst my friends, where “boy will be boys,” becomes an excuse for non-parenting, apathy, and needless violence and bullying. I have a 0 tolerance policy as hard as it has been to take that stance in our society. Until he could choose kindness and empathy I discouraged fighting and bullying. Until my son was old enough to keep a story straight and not pee in a diaper I wasn’t interested in explaining the nuances of violence verses warrioring and protecting. I wouldn’t allow toy guns of any type, “tools not toys I would remind him” no swords, no bombs, no violent play. Until my son turned 5 I was very much on the pacifist side of this argument. I ask myself questions like, where to encourage the natural fight and warrior-ness of my son and when to discourage pointless violence. Culturally violence is encouraged at too young of an age. It’s a hard line to walk in the violence-saturated world we live in.
This quote stands out to me as I think about raising my son to be a fighter, a warrior, and an adventurer. “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” ― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul To know your kid and what they need to thrive. I think it’s wise to question yourself as a parent. My base instincts are kind-words, reading, and cuddling! All those things are wonderful for children of either sex, as they need love and affection to grow into secure and healthy adults! But how can I be the best mother to my little wild at heart boy, when to draw lines, what is appropriate and not appropriate for him at certain ages, how do I encourage the wildness of his heart and when is the crazy just crazy? lol. Sometimes I question myself as a woman raising a boy to be a man. Here I am 10 years later raising a son and I’m thinking I should read it again. I remember loving him more because of it.
I remember really loving the book and understanding more about my male counterpart. When I first got married I read the book “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge based on a recommendation from my pastor at the time. Wild at Heart Raising Sons Arizona Mother and Family Photographer
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